Grateful

A couple of weeks before the accident I gave a talk in church on being grateful for the things you have and in finding pleasure and peace with the things that are given to you. I had thought long and deep on the subject and found myself feeling very grateful and satisfied with everything that I am blessed with. Fast forward several weeks. This message of love and gratitude is what has sustained me. I find myself genuinely happy when Clare is able to move a finger or toe. These small things are what has kept my hope and faith alive. I have never felt like Clare would not get better. Sometimes I did feel like I was disconnected from reality and I knew that if I allowed myself to look at things too logically it may cause me to lose hope. I could not do that so I chose to drift in a self imposed state that did not fully recognize reality.

When Clare and Kris were both so serious that some felt they may not live, we could not dwell on this thought. We could not mourn or grieve either. Grieving would mean that we had lost hope and we could not give up on them. There were times when I hurt so bad that I felt that it would have been easier to mourn the loss of a child then to be stuck in this in-between state where you can not start the healing process and there is no end in sight for when resolution will come. The spiritual strength that we feel from many of you is what keeps us going. Thank you.

This blog has been a lifesaving force very literally for Kris and Clare and for the Mabey and Olcott families. Thank you for every kind word, thought, deed and prayer on our behalf. Clare and Kris are both healing. Clare’s mind appears to be intact. It will be a long road, but we are now on that road. How thankful I am that we are on that road.

Tonight Annette asked Clare what on her dinner tray she wanted to eat. After looking over her choices Clare said, “mandarin oranges”. I have never been so grateful for mandarin oranges than I was tonight. Who would have thought?